Even the Smartest Men Are Dumb

Breakthrough! (I think.)

After a threatening text, major miscommunication, a lot of waiting, and a lot of deep breaths, I think I finally have this figured out.

1. Jeb is busy. (my bad)
2. Jeb wants to stay "acquaintances" (after I told him I'd GTFO of his life if he wanted, HIS bad)
3. I am honest, he claims to be a champion of the truth, but I've realized he is not (HIS bad)
4. Initially, he just wanted a new girlfriend to get over his old girlfriend (HIS bad)
5. I told him I just like spending time with him and am not interested in a relationship as of yet, which is partially true (my bad)
6. I told him I don't want him to assume I'm trying to push him into boyfriend-land when I want to spend time with him. (good job, me)

I think that I do want a relationship. But I want a relationship with the right person at the right time. I have a feeling that this will stay casual enough to where we'll either realize that the whole shebang is a total failure, it actually works really well and we'll end up together, or I meet someone who isn't such a spazz when it comes to communication.

As pitiful as it seems to be thankful that he's finally being honest with me (shouldn't he have been honest the whole time?), I am. It doesn't hurt me that he was trying so hard to move on from his ex girlfriend by pursuing me. The best way I get over old boyfriends or guys who have disappointed me? UH, getting a new one. I wish he had realized earlier that I'm not one to be lied to or misled. I have a fantastic ability to distinguish the truth from sketchy from total bullshit. He has definitely lied to me, and I know that. I'm not stupid. But if had been honest with me from the beginning, (Yo, I really like you, but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship because I'm still not totally over my last girlfriend) this would all make sense.

Why do smart men avoid confrontation and honesty to the extent that they look like assholes?

I know that it is impossible for a guy to look like a teddy bear and be completely evil and rotten inside simultaneously. But I wouldn't have any doubt if he had been honest from the start. I have too much pride to lie. This sounds bizarre, but the shame and guilt I would feel from leading a guy on whom I didn't want to date would be worse for me than the self-esteem dip felt when I get rejected. At least I know, with every guy, that I have done the best I could. I was honest. I genuinely liked him. If he led me on, or he lied to me, he was the asshole. Not me. I guess I don't like being responsible for failure!